September 08, 2008 Archives

2008/09/08 06:23:24

Liveblog: PAX, day 3

1506: I'm in the PC Freeplay line. The line, which I dismissed as being absurdly long the previous two days is now easily twice the length. But I will perservere!

1513: As usual, the line's bark is worse than it's bite.

1543: Interesting half hour match of TF2. The pings were low, but the equipment was actually worse than the stuff I have at home, and there was no voice chatter. So, by "interesting", I mean "shitty".

1604: This time, I'm going to wait in the SCII line until I get to play.

1625: Oh god, what have I gotten myself into.

1629: Challenged dude in line next to me in a three round rock paper scissors match, for a DTS button. He played rock all three rounds, and beat me.

1706: I get to play!

1720: Let this be a lesson in humiliating defeat. I was given 20 minutes in which to defeat a Zerg AI player set to "Easy". In the following 16 minutes I discovered that a single battlecruiser does not acquit itself honorably against the Zerg Horde. With four minutes left, and zero resources, I gave up like a pussy, and ran away to cry about it.

1734: Man, I am absolutely starving. I'm headed to the Pioneer Square food court to get somethin to eat.

1757: I had some shrimp tempura rolls, but they weren't that filling.

1801: Apparently everything starts closing at 6:00 PM. I guess I wasn't that hungry?

1809: Looking through my expo guide, I discover that PAX closes at 6:00 PM as well. AWESOME!

Post-PAX debrief: I played (sucked) Starcraft II, participated in the LAN, and didn't do much else. Was it worth it? Sure, but next year I'll BYOC, and try to attend with someone. I didn't see Ben this day, which was a shame, since I was planning on doing some quality hardware-gloating, inre: the HD 4870 I just bought.

tl;dr: A++, will attend again.

Posted by bbot | Permanent Link | Categories: Etc

2008/09/08 05:54:52

presenting: a transcript of a youtube video

In the spirit of Sam512's transcript of >9000, I present, "The Scout's" Sexy Suspender Striptease"; a youtube poop of the Meet The Scout video. Watch them in order for maximum context, or not!

Typographic conventions: "Text:" denotes on screen text added by the editor. "--" denotes a jump cut. Four repetitions of anything is taken to mean "many", to avoid having to count a specific number.

Meet the Scout:
The Scout's Sexy Suspender Striptease:
The TF2 Sting plays over the title card. --ing --ing --ing --ing

The Scout taps a Heavy, eating a sandvich, in the head with a baseball bat.

Scout: Yo, what's up?

The Scout hits the heavy in the stomach with a baseball bat.

Scout: Bonk! -onk onk onk onk onk onk!

The Scout, in front of the title card.

Scout: Grass grows, grass --flies, grass --shines, and brother, grass --hurts people. --pl --pl --pl --pl

Scout: Wooooo! --ooo! --ooo! --ooo! --ooo!

Scout: If I --ooo! was from --ooo! where grass --ooo! was from? --ooo! I'm a force of nature. --ooo!

Scout: Bonk!

Scout: And brudda, if you? --ooo!

Heavy: Arrgh! Arrgh! Arrgh! Arrgh!

Scout: --ooo!

Scout: Birds --grow --grass.

The scout taps the camera repeatedly, forming a musical scale.

Scout: I'm a f(BEEP)ckin--

Heavy: Arrgh!

Scout: Nee-- grow, Nee-- grow, Nee-- grow, Nee-- grow, Nee-- grow, Nee-- grow.

Text: NEGRO

Scout pauses.

Scout: Okay.

The Scout screams "Woo!" repeatedly, forming a musical scale.

Scout: Aggggg! -g! -g! -g! -g! -g!

Scout: Okay.

Scout: --g --g --g --g --g --ass --ass --ass --ass --ass --s --s --s --s --s

The Scout screams "Woo!" repeatedly, forming a melody.

Scout: That's beautiful. Uuf --uf --uf --uf --uf

Scout: Arrgh! Arrgh! Arrgh! Arrgh!

Heavy: Arrgh! Arrgh! Arrgh! Arrgh!

Scout: Abu --dabu --dabu --dabu --dabu

Scout: I mean --uh --do you have any idea, --a --a --a --a --who I am.

Heavy: Arrgh! Arrgh! Arrgh! Arrgh!

Scout: Arrgh! Arrgh! Arrgh! Arrgh!

Scout: Arrrrrrrrrgh!

Heavy: Arrgh!

Scout: You listening? You listening? --ng --ng --ng --ng. You listening?

The Scout pauses.

Scout: You listening?

Scout: Woo --ooo! --ooo! --ooo! --ooo!

The Scout taps a Heavy, eating a sandvich, in the head with a baseball bat. --taps --taps --taps The heavy turns to look, then turns away.

Scout: --ta --ta --ta --ta --DoyouhaveanyideawhoIam. --Grass grows --Grass grows --grows --grows --Grass grows --Grass grows

Scout: Bonk!

Scout: Birds --shines, and brudda, I hurtya --brudda --brudda --brudda

Scout: --ya --ya --ya --ya --ya

Scout: I --grow --grass

Heavy: Arrgh!

Scout: Bonk!

The scout surveys the building housing the central capture point in cp_well, in slow motion, while a song plays in the background. He smirks, cycles the action on his shotgun, and begins to sprint forwards. A Blu, level one sentry tracks, and fires two shots.

Text: AND THEN HE DIED.

The TF2 sting plays over a group shot of the Red team.

Posted by bbot | Permanent Link | Categories: Meta