1335 hours: Arrived at PAX. Found the
classic gaming freeplay room. There is
all kinds of neat
shit in here. Toploading NESes! Original Pong knockoffs! Right now
I'm watching some people suck at N64 Mario Kart.
1410: PAX enforcer asks me about the EEE, bringing the total up to
five. We have an awkward conversation about linux.
1630: EEE count six. Representative convention conversation
snippet, "Don't you mean
irregardless?"
I'm sitting in the North exhibition hall lobby typing this,
watching an endless torrent of people flow past. 36 people counted
in 20 seconds, which is 6480 people an hour. Mirror's Edge looks
interesting in person, but it's kinda hard to figure out who's
shooting you, which is bad when you die so easily. Seems to be more
cosplayers today; I've seen a Medic, an Engineer, and a Scout so
far; as well as the vault 13 Exile, the Riddlier, etc. I've also
seen, like, five Enforcers wearing kilts.
There's no paxnet signal here! Guess I'll be moving on.
1716: Ran into Ben! He has changed very little. This is a clever
euphromism for "he is still a dick".
I am currently lurking in the Rock Band contest room, which has an
oddly high concentration of women. I guess even virtual rockers get
the girls.
Apparently they are a
band, and I am a evil
sexist.
All the drummers remove their right shoe, for the kick drum; either
to keep from destroying the controller or for greater
control.
EEE count seven, or perhaps 6.5, since it was more of a passing
mention this time.
A dance fight has broken out! The power of
Rock has
possesed the bystanders.
1727: This drummer has gone entirely barefoot.
1840: Street Fighter: The Movie: The Video Game! It's just like the
Street Fighter game, only based on the movie that's based on
it.
1903: Waiting in line for the Saturday Night Concerts.
1904: The adhesive tag on the concert wristband has attached itself
to my arm hairs.
1905: Tearing it off now.
1906: My neighbors are expressing concern for the little girl who
seems to be crying in their immediate vicinity. I try to ignore
their jeers.
1955: A neighbor wanders by me to interrogate a fellow outside of
my field of vision who has been typing ryhmically for the last
twenty minutes. I turn around to spectate, and discover him to be
holding the keyboard in an inverted posistion, gripping it by the
first five function keys. I correctly identify him as playing
Frets On
Fire, to general hilarity.
2100: Ladies and gentlemen, the Sex Generals!
2101: They suck! But the crowd loves them anyway!
2117: After them came the two Omeganaut teams, Omegadeath and
School Of Hard Cocks, both playing the Eye Of The Tiger. Omegadeath
went first, so they were fresh, but the Hard Cock's drummer threw
his sticks into the crowd! And, presumably, blinded someone.
Omegadeath wins! This is what comes from having a penis-based band
name.
2121: At least it isn't taking them too long to change
equipment.
2122: It occurs to me that this is the first concert I have ever
attended. A rite of passage! Rather, a rite of
deafness.
2125: We hear a guitar note from behind the curtain, and me and the
three nerds near me start going "Uhp! Uhp! Uhp!" in unison. lol
hive mind.
Everyone has sat down and pulled out portible electronic
devices.
2128: Dude next to me retrived one of the Hard Cock's drumstricks
from the eye socket of a bystander, and is now tapping it on the
floor. I contemplate murder.
2130: A chiptunes/rock fusion band (consulting my program, I
discover that they call themselves "Anamanaguchi") has taken the
stage. They are loud!
2131: They are
so loud that, whatever they are playing, is
reduced to a jagged crash of distored guitars and hideiously
piecing tones. I listen to loud, angry music professionally, and
yet I cannot tolerate this. My "rite of deafness" joke is proving
unplesantly prophetic.
2135: I have retreated to the farthest corner of the theater, and
they are still intelerably loud. Covering both ears with my hands
reduces this to merely crushing level of loudness. It is now
offical: I am a woman.
2144: I have fled the venue, determined to return when Frontalot
shows up.
2158: Ben shows up to complain about the loudness. A fellow
woman!
2202: An actual female girl has shown up to comisserate. Ben
expounds upon his "square wave" theory.
2204: <&QuiQafooQey> i refuse to read your blog until the
sentence "QuiQafooQey is a greek god" has been uploaded into
it.
QuiQafooQey is a greek god. Specifically, the Greek god of
homsexuality.
Ben and this girl are actually
conversing, in a civil
manner, even. Either she is extraordinarily accomidating, or Ben
has mellowed, and I just refuse to see it.
Nahhhh.
0032: Just got off a fucking intense, and apparently
hour
plus game of Ten Man Bomberman in the classic console freeplay
room. Dude from IGN came by and interviewed me while playing, and I
probably came off like a moron.
What's Ten Man Bomberman, you ask? Why, it's a Genesis with two
multitaps, and ten screaming
fiends of men playing it. Is
it
crazy insane? Fuck
yes it is crazy
insane!
0033: Side effects of extended bomberman include: Lightheadedness,
body chills, and extreme blogginess.
0101: Awright, I'm outta here.
0112: Apparently the bus shows up at 0123, not 0110.
0117: A couple of PAX attendees ask me where they could buy
cigarettes at such an hour. Hilarity is shared when I point out
that I, too, am a PAX attendee.
Post-PAX debrief: I still haven't actually played
any unreleased games, and I waited in line for a couple of hours to
almost immediately walk out on the actual event; but I did play a
couple of games, and Fun was Had.